


Trying to Forget

by lunabelle



Series: There You Were-The Missing Moments [4]
Category: Parks and Recreation
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety Disorder, Depression, F/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-07
Updated: 2016-04-12
Packaged: 2018-05-31 21:24:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6487870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunabelle/pseuds/lunabelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, the things we try hardest to forget have ways of finding us again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part I

**Author's Note:**

> This was requested by positiveassbinch on tumblr as an "April has a depressive episode" missing moment. I've decided this MM will be in three parts.

It started with a phone call. Andy didn’t know at the time, but everything could be traced back to that day. April wasn’t herself that night, having come home from work looking confused and nervous, and even a little scared, which frightened Andy the most. He’d asked her what was wrong, and she’d shrugged him off quickly, preoccupied with trying to figure out what they’d eat for dinner and getting the twins fed and put to bed at a reasonable time.

The next morning, when she refused to get out of bed, Andy was more concerned than ever. The sounds of Melody crying rang strong in his ears as he stepped out of the shower. The first thing he noticed was that April was still in bed, the covers wrapped around her all the way up to her ears. 

Andy turned to peek into the nursery, and saw his daughter red-faced and wailing, standing in her crib and clutching the bars for balance. Jack sat wide awake and mostly silent in his adjacent crib, watching his sister scream. He looked as though he too was about to burst into tears.

“Hey baby girl, it’s okay…Daddy’s here,” Andy tied his towel securely around his waist and lifted her out of the crib, planting a soft kiss on her head. “Shhh…it’s okay.” He found it hard to believe that April hadn’t heard the girl screaming. She was always the first one to rush into the nursery whenever their children made the tiniest of whimpers, even if she was fast asleep.

Melody’s crying died down to hiccups as she clung to her father. After giving Jack a quick kiss on the head and promising he’d be right back, Andy approached the bed and sat down carefully beside April, gently shaking her shoulder.

“Honey,” he said softly. “Melody’s hungry…I found her crying in her crib, and it’s past the time they normally eat breakfast.”

“I can’t right now,” April mumbled, not turning around.

So she _was_ awake…and knew the baby was screaming. Andy looked at Melody nervously. “Baby, I can’t feed her. We don’t have any emergency formula—”

“There’s some stored milk in the freezer,” April replied softly. 

“No, we used the last of it last night, remember? You said…um…you said you were going to pump more and I guess you forgot.” Andy rubbed her shoulder slowly, trying to motivate her into sitting up. “It’s okay, everyone forgets sometimes.”

April took a deep breath and slowly pulled herself into a sitting position. Andy immediately realized how off she looked. Her eyes were red with dark circles under them. Her face was pale, and she looked like she hadn’t slept at all.

“April,” he said. “What’s wrong? You don’t look like yourself.”

“Bad sleep,” she replied, not making eye contact with him. Slowly she reached her arms out for her daughter. The seven-month-old eagerly transferred to her mother’s lap, as April opened her shirt to nurse. Normally she loved the moments she had while feeding her children. Right now though, she couldn’t have looked more uncomfortable if she tried.

“I don’t think you should go to work today,” Andy said concernedly. “I think maybe you need to rest a bit more.”

“Fine,” April answered indifferently.

“I’m gonna go get dressed…and get Jack,” Andy stood up, not taking his eyes off his wife as he backed into the nursery. “Then I’ll…um…I’ll get them ready.”

“Great,” was all she said.

Andy’s brain went into overdrive. This wasn’t normal. _April_ wasn’t normal. Something was wrong, and he needed to find out what it was.

 

April glanced at her daughter as the tiny baby clung to her chest, eyes drooping closed as she ate her breakfast. If she could feel anything at all at the moment, it would be guilt over the fact that she was being this way. Her two babies did nothing wrong. They didn’t deserve to have a mother who could randomly fall to pieces at the drop of a hat…or the ring of a phone. She felt pathetic.

Andy hadn’t taken his eyes off her since she got up. _He_ didn’t do anything wrong either. He didn’t deserve this silent treatment. Even as she switched out Melody for Jack, her husband’s stare asked a million wordless questions that April couldn’t respond to. She didn’t want to speak, she didn’t want to move… She just wanted to go back to bed and sleep.

“Hey,” Andy took their daughter again as Jack ate silently in his mother’s arms. “Honey, if there’s something bothering you, you can talk to me. I’m right here. You know that, right?”

“I know. I just need to rest,” she replied, her chest constricting as she found it harder to breathe. “Once you take the kids to daycare—“

“April, I can’t take them to daycare…I’m sorry, but you didn’t save any milk and I need to send them with bottles ready—“

“Andy, I CAN’T!” she shouted suddenly, scaring Jack. Her son started to cry, and that made her feel a million times worse. That, and the look on Andy’s face. “Babe,” April whispered. “I’m sorry, I’m…I just…didn’t mean to yell.”

“April,” Andy sat, wrapping his arms around her as she tried to calm Jack down. “Babe, what’s wrong?” He kissed her head as she leaned into him. It wasn’t long before she started to cry.

Seeing their mother like this brought both babies to tears. Andy held Melody close while April cradled Jack, the four of them huddled together in a pile on the bed.

“It’s okay,” Andy whispered, whether to her or their children she wasn’t sure. It could’ve been all three of them for all she knew. “I’ve got you.”

 

She hadn’t recognized the number when her phone rang in the middle of work the previous afternoon. Thinking it was some type of job-related inquiry, April had answered in her typical work-fashion. Since she’d started her new job at her father’s company, she would receive dozens of calls throughout the day. Most of them pertained to current and proposed construction projects.

She had been too distracted to realize that this was a call to her personal phone. Never in a million years was she expecting a call from him.

_“Hello?”_

_“Hi April.”_

_She froze, recognizing his voice immediately._

_“April…you there?”_

_“What the fuck do you want?” she asked coldly, her nerves going haywire and a cold sweat clinging to her blouse._

_“It’s…um…it’s been a while, and I wanted to check in and see how you were doing,” he said. “I’ve been thinking about you a lot, lately… Well, I think about you all the time, actually.” His voice still had that same smoothness to it that had attracted her to him in the first place. He sounded confident and indifferent all at once. “I’m going to be coming back to Pawnee next week for work…I’m a sales rep now, so I travel a lot. I thought maybe we could catch up.”_

_“You have no right to call me,” she said coldly. “I don’t want to see you. Don’t ever call me again, do you understand?”_

She hadn’t waited for an answer. As she hung up, she had no idea how much that simple, short, meaningless conversation would affect her. Yet it did, and she hadn’t been the same since.

 

“Okay,” Andy bounced Melody in his arms, sweat beading on his neck as the child cried louder. “It’s okay, shhh…shhh…”

With his other arm, he held his wife. April’s tears were thick on her cheeks. Jack clung to her, his tiny fists full of her pajama shirt.

Andy wasn’t entirely sure what to do. Sure, there had been plenty of moments where the twins had meltdowns. Those times though, April was always eager to calm them down, and she and Andy would work as a team. Now, he felt like he was alone.

“Honey,” Andy pressed a kiss to her head. “I need to know what’s wrong. You’re not okay right now. I can’t stand watching you be this upset while I do nothing.”

She shook her head in response, still clutching Jack. “I’m a bad mother.”

Andy couldn’t believe what he was hearing. If there was one thing that was true in this entire world, it was that April Dwyer loved her children more than anything.

“April,” he stroked her hair, looking her directly in the eyes. “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard come out of your mouth.”

“It’s true, Andy. If I was a good mother I’d have three kids instead of two—“

“Babe—“

A soft knock on the door startled them all. April looked terrified, her head snapping up and looking from the door to the apartment, to Andy, then to her crying children. Andy stood up slowly, his daughter still in his arms as he went to see who it was.

Diane was standing in the doorway, a concerned expression on her face as she looked past him into the apartment.

“Andy,” she said slowly, peering at April before looking back up at him. “I can hear those babies crying from two floors down. Is everything okay?”

Andy had never been so grateful that Diane was home.

“Diane,” he tried to whisper, but the crying was too loud. “Something’s going on with April…she won’t tell me exactly what it is, and the kids are freaking out. It’s like they can sense it or something.”

“Of course they can sense it,” Diane said gently. “Here, let me take them for a bit. I don’t leave for a couple hours.” She reached out for Melody. “Just focus on April.”

Melody cried even louder as she moved from her father’s arms, but Diane rocked her gently, unfazed by the outburst.

Andy hurried back to April’s side and kneeled down to her level. “Honey,” he said softly. “Diane’s gonna take the kids for a bit…okay? Give us a break?”

April nodded slowly, her wet eyes unfocused as she lifted Jack into Andy’s arms.

“There we go,” Andy tried to smile, kissing the boy on the head. “Okay buddy, you’re gonna go spend some time with Grandma now.”

“Have they eaten?” Diane asked, holding both of them securely in her arms. 

“Yeah,” Andy scratched his neck. “They should be good for a little bit.”

Diane nodded and turned to head downstairs. “Say bye-bye to Daddy,” she said, turning to walk away. “Bye-bye!”

Andy smiled and waved, as the sounds of her footsteps disappeared. At once, he turned to hurry back to April.

She was already lying back in bed, her eyes closed.

“It’s okay,” he said again for what felt like the hundredth time that morning. Sliding into bed beside her, Andy pulled the covers up. “I love you so much,” he whispered, resting one arm across her side. April didn’t respond.

 

It was a little while later that Diane brought the twins back. Unfortunately, she _did_ need to go to work. Unless April decided to get up, Andy was on his own.

“Here,” Diane handed him a small grocery bag.

“What’s this?” Andy pulled a tiny container of baby formula out of the bag, turning it in his hands. “Oh…”

“I know they don’t use formula…and I know they won’t like it nearly as much,” Diane said softly. “But they need to eat. Just follow the directions and it’ll be no problem. Between that, their pureed vegetables and their rice cereal they should be full until April feels like herself again.”

“Thanks,” Andy cleared his throat as Diane hugged him.

She kissed both babies once, giving Andy a light squeeze on his wrist. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to April. You and Jack and Melody give her more life than anything I’ve ever known. She’ll be fine as long as you’re there.”

After making him promise to call if they needed anything, she left for work, leaving the family of four alone in their apartment. Andy then called Leslie to let her know he needed the day off. Once that was done, he worked on getting both babies fed again.

Diane was right—mixing the formula was easy enough. Getting them to drink it was a whole other matter. When Andy handed them their bottles, both babies turned their heads away when they tasted the foreign substance.

Melody responded by throwing her bottle across the room. Jack merely stared up at Andy with large, sad brown eyes, so similar to April’s that it was scary.

“Guys, I know it’s not the same,” Andy sighed, retrieving Melody’s bottle and placing it back on the tray. “But Daddy’s doing his best, here.”

He glanced over his shoulder to the bed. April still slept on, her chest rising and falling slowly with each breath. Turning back to his children, he pulled out the bowl of rice cereal.

“Let’s give this a try instead,” he said hopefully. This time, both babies gratefully accepted the spoonfuls of food. Andy breathed a sigh of relief.

At least he could get one thing right.


	2. Part II

“Hi, um…is Dr. Traeger there?” Andy held the phone to his ear with his shoulder while Jack fussed in his arms. The little boy had been out of whack all day, and rightly so. They were all a bit disoriented today.

“Who’s calling please?” the receptionist on the other line—Andy only knew his name was Craig—asked, sounding rather bored.

“Uh, this is Andy Dwyer. My wife April sees Chris like every other week.”

“One minute,” Craig replied. 

Andy heard soft, jazzy music coming through the line. He must’ve been put on hold. Jack whined sadly, grabbing at his father’s collar while chewing on the plaid fabric.

“I know, buddy…” 

Both babies had begun teething, which for Andy and April meant lots of crying, lots of chewing, and lots of rough sleep. They were lucky if both twins napped at the same time. Most of the time, they didn’t.

“Dr. Traeger here!”

Andy snapped to attention. “Oh! Hi, uh, this is Andy Dwyer—“

“Andy Dwyer!” Chris Traeger shouted brightly. “Husband of my favorite patient, April Swanson Dwyer! What can I do for you?”

“Yeah,” Andy tried to find the right words. “I was wondering if there’s any way you can see April this afternoon. I know she doesn’t have an appointment until next week, but it’s kind of an emergency.”

“Well, Andy Dwyer, lucky for you my five o’clock cancelled today. Why don’t you come in then?”

“Really? Awesome!” Andy felt a wave of relief. “Thanks…we’ll see you then.”

If April wasn’t going to talk to her own husband, then maybe she’d talk to Chris. She talked to him all the time anyway. Sadly, Andy realized that Chris probably knew her issues better than anyone. As much as he would love to be the one she came to…maybe this would be better for her.

He’d made the phone call in the spare bedroom on the second floor. Hurrying up the stairs as fast as he could while carrying a baby, he placed Jack on the soft rug in front of the TV, where his toys were scattered everywhere. Pulling the video monitor out of his pocket, he checked on Melody. Luckily she was fast asleep.

April was still buried under the covers. Hours had gone by, and she hadn’t moved or spoken since earlier that morning. 

“April,” Andy sighed, sitting beside her on the bed. “Babe, we need to talk for a minute.” He stroked her hair slowly, waiting.

She made a soft noise before turning to look at him. Andy did his best to force a smile when he saw her face, completely unchanged from the last time he saw her. She didn’t look any more rested than earlier, her eyes still sad and her skin pale.

“What?” she rasped, her voice shot from lack of use.

“I made an appointment for you to see Chris this afternoon,” Andy said slowly, staring at a spot just below her eye level. “If you won’t talk to me, maybe you’ll talk to him.”

“No,” she said suddenly, pushing back against the wall. “Why did you do that?” For a minute, she actually looked angry. Her eyes narrowed as she stared at him. “Andy, you can’t just _make_ an appointment for me! I’m not fucking going.”

It felt like something inside him had broken.

“April!” Andy was taken aback. This was honestly the last way he expected her to react. “You won’t talk to me! You won’t talk to anybody! What else can I do?” He couldn’t help but get agitated now. He was exhausted and drained, and it was finally starting to show. “Just—just tell me—what do you want from me? I’m trying my best here! I’m taking care of our kids, I’m _trying_ to take care of you, but you won’t fucking LET me! How the hell can we solve anything if you won’t let me in? You just wanna stay like this? Do you _like_ being this way?”

April stared at him, her body frozen and her eyes wide and fearful. Immediately, Andy regret that last bit. He felt terrible. He _never_ wanted to raise his voice like that to her, least of all in front of their kids.

“I…d-don’t…” her bottom lip quivered, speech failing her.

“Babe, I…um…I’m—“ he reached for her, and felt a horrible pang of guilt as she backed away from him.

Instinctively, he turned to Jack on the rug. The boy was staring at his parents, his face a mix between fear and curiosity. Over the monitor, they could hear Melody’s cries from the other room.

“I…I’ve gotta go get her,” Andy mumbled, standing quickly. On his way to the nursery, he scooped up Jack. The door closed quietly behind him as he left April sitting there, her face shining with tears.

 

April’s insides felt like ice. She collapsed on the bed in soft sobs. What was she doing to them? Andy, and Jack and Melody…they didn’t deserve this. Why the hell did she get so mad at him? He was trying to help her. Yet at the same time, the way he raised his voice…it was too familiar yet so unlike Andy that she literally felt sick.

_I don’t want to talk to Chris._

She knew she should, though. She had to start somewhere…

Maybe that somewhere should be her husband. But April doubted Andy wanted anything to do with her at the moment, and that thought just made her feel awful. She clutched her stomach, rolling from the events of the day and lack of any food. The thought of eating made her feel worse, so April found herself in some weird back-and-forth of hunger and nausea.

Her cell phone went off on the tiny kitchen counter, and fear shot through her immediately. She ignored the vibrations until they stopped.

 

Andy rocked both babies in the rocking chair, one resting on each shoulder. He felt like such an ass. He kept trying to tell himself that it was okay…that couples fight all the time. He and April had gotten into it a couple of times over the past year, but nothing like this.

_Her face, though…they way she looked when I yelled at her…_

He could hear her crying softly from the other room. Knowing he helped get her to that point made him want to throw up.

“Your dad messed up, guys,” he whispered to his children. “I messed up big time. I’m so sorry you had to hear that. I love your mommy so much, don’t ever think differently.”

 

April woke sometime later, her back pressed up against something warm. She figured she must’ve dozed off at some point. The last thing she remembered was her pillow, wet against her cheek from tears. Now, she was vaguely aware of Andy’s huge body behind her, the weight of his arm heavy as it draped over her side.

She turned to face him. He was asleep, his head resting on his other arm as it snaked under the pillow and curled around the top of her headspace. His legs sandwiched her feet between them, warm and protective, just like the rest of him. He fell asleep like this so often, his body literally shielding hers, that April almost felt normal again.

She slid away from him so her back was to the wall. Andy didn’t budge. He looked so worn out, and it was only three in the afternoon. Reaching for the monitor, April switched the video on and saw her babies fast asleep in their cribs. She realized that the last time she actually held them was early this morning. Her chest ached at the thought. She missed their touch and their smiles, their soft giggles and their squishy cheeks.

She knew she should let them sleep, but April didn’t stop herself as she crept out of bed, avoiding bumping into Andy as she tiptoed to the nursery and pushed open the door.

Jack and Melody slept on peacefully, their little fists tight against their chests. Every so often one of them would twitch, and April couldn’t help but smile. Her face felt stiff, but God, it was good to smile at something again.

As if she knew something was up, Melody rolled onto her side, yawning huge and stretching her arms. The little girl pushed herself up, blinking sleepily as her room came into focus. April watched her eyes travel until they landed right where she was standing.

Melody smiled at her mother, and April burst into tears.

She scooped her daughter up, cradling her in her arms and holding her tight against her chest. She kissed her all over, from the top of her head to the tip of her nose.

“Love you, baby girl,” she whispered, wiping her eyes. “I love you, and Jack and Daddy so much.”

She checked the time. If she got ready now she could still make the appointment with Chris…

“April?”

The soft voice startled her, and April turned around to see Andy standing in the doorway to the nursery. His hair was a tousled mess, and his eyes were heavy from sleep, but the look in them was that of love and concern.

Placing their daughter back in her crib, April faced him.

“I heard noises, so I got up—“ he started, but April cut him off by running the short distance to his arms and flinging herself against him. Andy seemed caught off guard at first, but it only took a second for him to wrap his arms around her in return.

“I’m so sorry, babe,” April’s voice was muffled against his shirt. “I’m sorry I’m putting you through this.”

“Hey,” Andy whispered, resting his chin against the top of her head. “It’s okay. Everything’s gonna be okay.”

“I didn’t mean to freak out at you…I just…I’m gonna go get ready, and we’ll go see Chris.”

“Wait,” Andy looked down at her. “Honey, if you don’t want to, you don’t have to, all right? I shouldn’t have forced that appointment on you…I just didn’t know what else to do—“

“No, you were trying to help me…and I couldn’t even help myself,” she shook her head. “You’re always looking out for me, and I’m just stupid sometimes—“

“No, you’re not,” Andy said seriously.

April smiled softly, savoring the feeling of his strong hands on her shoulders again.

“I want to tell you everything,” she said, staring up at him. “Okay?”

“Yeah,” Andy nodded. “I think that would be great.”

 

Andy placed April’s daily pills next to a glass of water and a warm grilled cheese. The first thing he insisted was that she eat something before they talked about anything else that afternoon. She accepted gratefully, Andy sitting beside her as though he was monitoring the eating habits of a small child. It was important that she get some food in her.

The next step was feeding the kids. With a partially full stomach, April was functioning better already. While she fed Melody, Andy gave Jack some rice cereal. Then, they switched. It was like things were normal again. The two of them were once again working as a team, taking care of their children.

Of course, the improved moods had the same effect on the babies. Jack was smiling again, babbling animatedly at both his parents. Melody—the naturally more vocal of the two—didn’t fuss nearly as much.

The anger from earlier had all but evaporated. After discussing it with April, Andy called Chris and cancelled the appointment. Then, after a quick text asking if Diane could take the kids for a bit when she got home, Andy ran a hot bath in the second floor guest bathroom.

“C’mon,” he said, leading April downstairs. “We’ve got about an hour to ourselves.”

Andy didn’t always come up with the best ideas. However, when it came to making April feel better, he felt like he knew exactly what she needed. That was one thing he could always pride himself on. She was his priority…as were his children of course, but right now it was April who needed him.

Her face lit up when she saw the tub. If there was one thing Andy knew, it was that April loved having a bubble bath. It was one of those little pleasures he never would’ve expected from her.

“You’re gonna come in with me, right?” she smiled at him, stripping down and taking a cautious step into the warm water before submerging herself up to her neck.

“Of course I am,” Andy nodded, taking his shirt off. “Unless you don’t want me to, I mean…” he added quickly, hesitating.

“Of course I do,” April tied her hair back, sighing as she leaned against the edge.

“Oh, good,” Andy sighed in relief. So much bigger than her, he squeezed in behind her and gently tugged her back until she was resting against his chest. “Good babe?”

“This is perfect,” she mumbled. Breathing deeply, she closed her eyes.


	3. Part III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the third and final part. :)

April hadn't felt this relaxed in a long, long time. As much as she loved bubble baths, having two babies who needed her constant care and attention made it nearly impossible to enjoy moments like this very often. Usually she was confined to a quick ten minute shower…if she was lucky.

Andy’s hands worked the muscles in her neck and shoulders, firm but gentle as he moved them in a steady massage. He moved down her chest and sides, to her back and hips…wherever he could reach, he kneaded. She could feel the anxiety that had been plaguing her since the morning fading to a slight spark, still present but not nearly as harrowing.

There was no urgency to his movements, no veiled desire or sexual tension between them right now. Just the loving bond they shared as Andy tried everything he could to make her feel better.

“Good?” he asked over and over, and each time she simply nodded with a soft response.

“Mmhm…”

Then he would kiss the back of her neck and continue.

They spent nearly a half hour in that amazing silence, the only sounds being Andy’s question, April’s response, and the soft swish of the water as it moved around them.

Finally, April knew it was time bring up the inevitable.

“Andy…”

“Yeah?”

She leaned back against him again, resting the back of her head on his shoulder.

“So, um…about…about everything…”

She could tell he was listening intently. His hands had stopped moving, now resting on her hips.

“Yesterday at work,” she started, taking a deep breath. “I got a phone call from a number I didn’t recognize. I picked it up, thinking it was another of my dad’s clients or something.”

“Yeah,” Andy nodded. “Of course.”

“It was…um…it was Eric.”

She could feel his muscles tense up. She turned to look at him, and his face had darkened in anger. It was rare that Andy ever got like this, but when he did it was actually scary.

“What did he say to you?” Andy asked, a little harsher than he probably intended. “Babe, _what did he say?”_

April’s eyes welled with tears, prompting Andy’s face to soften.

“Hey, hey…I’m sorry…I’m not mad at you, don’t ever think that,” he said, instinctively hugging her closer. “I’m pissed that he had the nerve to call you. It’s okay, I’m right here.”

“I don’t know why he called me,” April choked out. “It’s been three years, Andy. Three years and I thought I could finally forget all that shit.” She buried her face in her hands. “He said he was coming back to Pawnee for work and he wanted to see me.”

“Shh, it’s okay,” Andy assured her. She could feel his body, still rigid and tense. “What did you say?”

“I told him he had no right to call me, and to never call me again,” she replied softly.

“Good,” Andy nodded, kissing her head. “No, you did fine, April. You’re gonna be fine. He’s not coming anywhere near you.”

April nodded against him.

“Hey,” Andy tilted her head up so she was looking at him. “If he calls again, you let me answer, okay?”

She nodded again, breathing deeply to catch her breath. “He might’ve already…I heard my phone go off a few times today and I didn’t answer it.”

“Good,” he replied. “It’s fine, babe.” He took a deep breath. “So, that’s what set off…everything?”

“Yeah, pretty much,” she said. “I just got these flashbacks when I heard his voice again…and then I started thinking of the kids, and how scared I’d be if he came here. Then when we fought…it just reminded me of those times with him…I don’t even have to be afraid of him, he’s such a loser…”

Andy nodded knowingly, kissing the side of her head.

“Then all this guilt just came pouring back, you know? Stuff I thought I was finally over. I thought if things had gone differently…I could have done the whole single mother thing.”

“You would’ve been amazing,” Andy told her. “Honey, you’re already the best mother there is to Jack and Mel.”

“Andy?” she turned to face him, shivering a bit in the cooling water.

“Yeah?”

“Would you have still been…you know…into me if I’d had a kid when we met?”

He smiled softly, his hands finding hers and entwining their fingers. “I would’ve loved that kid like it was mine,” he assured her.

A tear crept down her cheek, and she smiled. “I love you,” she whispered.

“You have no idea how much I love you too.”

Leaning forward, she met his mouth in a deep kiss.

 

Twenty minutes later, Andy got April the warmest, fluffiest towel he could find. It was hard leaving the warmth of the bath, let alone being able to spend such intimate time together undisturbed. But they were parents first and foremost, and little moments like that needed to be appreciated for what they were.

Diane brought the twins back not long after. She smiled when she saw April looking so much better.

“How’s everything going?” she asked kindly.

“Good,” April replied. “Diane…um, thanks for watching the kids today. It really helped.”

“Please, I love taking care of my grand babies. It’s not a chore at all. Anytime you need me.”

“Thanks,” Andy echoed April’s sentiments. “For everything, you know?”

The older woman winked at them, and turned to head back downstairs.

Melody’s little fist clutched her mother’s shirt, casually chewing on the fabric. April smiled, kissing her head of curly dark hair.

“I missed you both so much today,” she said, reaching out and kissing Jack’s cheek. Jack giggled from his father’s arms.

“They missed you too, honey,” Andy assured her, as he closed the door to the apartment.

“If it’s okay, I’m gonna go feed them in the nursery,” April told him. “Just…I just need to spend some extra time with them before bed.”

“Absolutely,” Andy nodded.

He helped her get situated in the rocker, placing both babies in her arms. They were growing so fast, he often wondered how April managed to hold two of them at once without either of them fussing. Yet hold them she did. His wife was amazing.

As Andy busied himself in the kitchen trying to figure out _their_ dinner—maybe April wouldn’t mind another grilled cheese—he heard her phone vibrate from the counter.

The number was private. Andy’s eyes narrowed as he picked up, stepping into the hallway.

“Hello?”

“Who is this?” came a male’s voice over the other end.

“You called me,” Andy answered darkly. “Who’s this?”

“I’m, uh…I’m looking for April,” the voice sounded confused.

“This is her husband,” Andy said angrily.

“Her—her husband?”

“Yes,” he replied. 

“She didn’t tell me she had—“

“Listen to me, because I’m only going to say this once,” Andy’s voice was low and dangerous, trying as hard as he could to keep calm. “Don’t ever call this number again. Don’t ever try to contact April again.”

“Dude—“

“No,” Andy interrupted. “If I find out you’ve been trying to contact her, or come see her, or bother her in any way, you’ll have me to answer to. You don’t want to run into me. Am I making myself clear enough for you, Eric?”

There was a click from the other line, and Andy knew he’d hung up. He took a deep breath, digesting what had just happened. Then he turned to join April.

 

“How can I be so tired after I literally stayed in bed all day?” April whispered to her husband as they lay in bed that night. “It’s not like I was super busy or anything.”

“It was a rough day, babe,” Andy yawned. “You had a tough time of it.”

“I guess,” she nuzzled against his warm skin, the both of them exhausted, a bit sweaty, and—April smiled to herself—sore. “Thank you again for everything you did today.”

“Don’t thank me for stuff like that,” Andy shrugged. “That’s stuff I should always be doing anyway.”

“Still,” she sighed. “I guess he never called back.”

“Actually,” Andy cleared his throat. “I was gonna wait until tomorrow to tell you, but since you brought it up…”

April stared at Andy, her eyes wide.

“It’s okay, honey,” Andy assured her. “He’s not gonna be calling you again.”

“What—“

“Your husband handled it,” he said simply. “I’m always going to be here to take care of you and the kids.”

“I would’ve loved to have seen his face, though,” April said thoughtfully. “Whatever you said to him…”

“Well, I like to imagine that he’s pretty freaked out,” Andy chuckled. “You know I don’t go to dark places that easily.”

“No, you don’t,” she clutched his arm, giving his shoulder a kiss. “It takes a lot to get you mad.”

They stayed silent for a few moments, listening to one of the babies babble softly in their sleep over the monitor.

“Andy,” April kissed his cheek. “I’m gonna try to never let his happen again.”

He stared at her quizzically. “Honey, it’s okay if it happens again. In all reality, it probably will. But if it’s something you need to deal with, we’ll deal with it together.”

“I know, but look what it did to us today,” she pointed out. “I mean, we were a wreck.”

“We were, yes,” Andy agreed. “But we also got through it, and now we’re better than ever. Plus, you can talk to Chris about these things when they happen again.”

April paused, biting her lip. “Andy, I think I wanna cut back on my appointments with Chris.”

“But…you need someone to talk to when, y’know, stuff like this happens.”

“I do have someone to talk to,” she pushed some curls behind his ear. “He’s all that matters, now.”

Andy smiled, a soft laugh escaping his lips. “You really are the best thing that ever happened to me. I don’t know how many times I can tell you.”

“Then let’s never stop telling each other,” she suggested, closing her eyes. “Sound good?”

Andy pulled her close, until they were nose to nose. “It super does.”

April knew there was no way to tell if she’d have another day like this. Andy was right, in all honestly she probably would. It was a thing she’d had to live with for the past three years, and she knew time would be the best medicine. She took comfort in knowing that no matter how difficult it could be, it would never harm them. She would make sure of it, and Andy would make sure of it. It was a promise they’d made to each other, and it would never be broken.


End file.
